My sheets look like a crime scene.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
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