my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
