the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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