why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize