I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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