Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
