i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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