She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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