actually, I'm a sock model
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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