She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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