why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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