Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Boobs speak an international language.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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