My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
