I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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