I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
