sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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