therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
