He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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