You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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