No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize