Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
