I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
