I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
