It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
