i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize