he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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