I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
