I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
bring money and cleavage
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize