New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
