My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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