They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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