i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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