if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
