Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
