I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
