It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
