ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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