We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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