Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
