i would punch a child for taco bell
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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