Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
