He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
