I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Never joke about your clitoris.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
