i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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