He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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