return my video game
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
