Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
