I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
