Umm I'm too high to move.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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