Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
