if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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