so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
