If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
