Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
