If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
