i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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