Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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