Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
