i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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