u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
